Bureaucratic Proverbs
A Style Exercise
Engl 4057/5057 Writing: Theory and Teaching
Weds, Feb 1, 2012, O'Donnell, ETSU
(O'Donnell,
ETSU, First-year composition course materials)
The following are well-known proverbs that have been rewritten in a bureaucratic style. Translate them back to the familiar language. Then answer this question: What specific stylistic devices result in the bureaucratic voice?
("Bureaucratic Proverbs" presented by Will Shortz, the "Puzzle Master," on NPR's Weekend Edition-Sunday. Shortz cites his source as Diabolical Word Puzzles, by R. F. McCarty.)
1. It is undesirable for one to exhibit lachrymose tendencies, when confronted by a carelessly decanted lacteal substance.
2. A lengthy verbalization, concerning a given subject, is less efficacious, in comparison to a solitary nonverbal depiction of that subject.
3. A member of the avian family that initiates questing for helminthes, prior to that same activity by others of its kind, is more likely to be rewarded with success.
4. Persons with little intelligence and tendencies towards misjudgment are inclined in the direction of little contemplated behaviors, in situations in which extra terrestrial beings are hesitant to take action.
5. An antedated survey of a visual nature is recommended prior to the physical launching of one's body over a given distance or obstacle.
6. Visitations by a practitioner of the healing arts may be obviated by the expedient of diurnal ingestion of a red or yellow edible fruit.
7. The state of not being in attendance at a particular location gives rise to an incremental expansion of internalized emotions of affection.
8. One is more able, when employing the use of an insect-produced, viscid material, as contrasted with the usage of a liquid obtained by fermentation of dilute alcoholic liquids, to entice and capture certain other insects.
From MS-Word Software
GRAMMAR AND STYLE CHECK
Grammar
q Capitalization
q Commonly confused words
q Hyphenated and compound words
q Misused words
q Negation
q Numbers
q Passive sentences
q Possessives and plurals
q Punctuation
q Relative clauses
q Sentence structure
q Subject-verb agreement
q Verb and noun phrases
Style
q Clichés
q Colloquialisms
q Contractions
q Gender-specific words
q Jargon
q Sentence length (more than sixty words)
q Sentences beginning with And, But, and Hopefully
q Successive nouns (more than three)
q Successive prepositional phrases (more than three)
q Unclear phrasing
q Use of first person
q Wordiness
q Words in split infinitives (more than one)
READABILITY STATISTICS
Counts
Averages
Readability