Effective Communication

Effective Communication—Week 6

Lesson Overview:

Students understand the concept of hearing vs. listening.

Lesson Objectives:

Establish the importance of becoming an effective listener, as well as an effective communicator.

Lesson Activities:

1. Have students play the “Telephone Game”

2. Go over the components of active listening and communication, have students

act out scenarios

3. Play the “Telephone Game” again utilizing components of active listening

4. Journal

Lesson Plan:

A. “Telephone Game” 10 minutes

B. Discuss active listening and communication 20 minutes

C. “Telephone Game” 10 minutes

D. Journal 15 minutes

55 minutes

“Telephone Game”

Have students of the class to gather around the room in a circle. Whisper a sentence into the ear of the first student and then have them repeat it to the next person and so on. At the end of the circle, have the last student tell aloud what the original sentence stated. Vote how many students actually heard the right sentence. Play this before and after the segment of effective listening and effective communication.

Active Listening

“Active listening implies active learning, for in order to listen well, one must be open to other points of view. Active listening, if done well, can help a speaker and a listener explore his or her feelings and thoughts. Teachers must be good models of active listening, as well as their students. Teachers, do you sensitively explore your students’ thoughts and words? Students, do you ask for clarification from your teachers, to make sure you understand what they are asking of you? All, do you practice SOLER?”

“Being a good listener makes helps people feel you are on their side, and helps you provide better feedback. When you begin making changes in your own life, you will see that good listeners are hard to find. Why not be one, or order to teach others how?”

“Look at the active listening chart on the next page. Go through each of the seven steps of active listening with a classmate; read them aloud then discuss them. Apply the seven principles of active listening to a problem or topic you’d like to talk about. One person should be the speaker and the other should be the listener. Then figure out the meaning of SOLER. Decide together why its components are important to active listening.”

Active Listening

1. SOLER: Squarely face the speaker; Open your posture, Lean towards the speaker,

Provide Eye contact, and Relax.

2. Paraphrase: Restating a message, but usually with fewer words. · Try and get more to the point. Test your understanding of what you heard and communicate that you are trying to understand what is being said. If you’re successful, paraphrasing indicates that you’re beginning to understand the basic message. When listening, ask yourself: What is the speaker’s basic thinking message, and what is the person’s basic feeling message?

3. Clarify: · Untangle your misunderstanding. · Get more information. · Help speaker see other points of view. · Identify what was said, “I’m confused, let me try to restate what I think you were saying. You’ve said so much; let me see if I’ve got it all.”

4. Check Perceptions: · Request for verification of your perceptions. · Give and receive feedback. · Check out your assumptions. · “Let me see if I’ve got it straight, you said that you love your best friend and that he/she is very important to you. At the same time you can’t stand being with them. Is that what you are saying?”

5. Summarize: Pulling together, organizing, and integrating the major aspects of your dialogue. Pay attention to various themes and emotional overtones. Put key ideas and feelings into broad statements. DO NOT add new ideas. Purpose: · Give a sense of movement and accomplishment in the exchange. · Establish a basis for further discussion. · Pull together major ideas, facts, and feelings · “A number of good points have been made…” “The three major points of the story are…”

6. Empathize: Reflection of content and feelings, to show that you understand the speaker’s experience. · Allow the speaker to evaluate his/her feelings after hearing them expressed by someone else. · “The main fear for you seems to be fear – you’re really scared of losing your relationship if things don’t get better.” ·“It’s upsetting when someone doesn’t let you tell your side of the story.” Basic Formula: You feel (state feeling) because (state content).

7. Advanced Empathy: Reflection of content and feeling at a deeper level—try to understand deeper feelings. ·“I get the sense that you are really angry about what was said, but I am wondering if you also feel a little hurt by it.” “You said that you feel more confident about contacting employers, but I wonder if you also still feel a bit scared.”

http://www.taft.cc.ca.us/lrc/class/assignments/actlisten.html

Listening is one of the most important traits we as human beings can develop for academic and real world success to becoming a friend and experiencing true friendship. Think about it . . . if we aren't talking or reading, we most likely are listening. We listen to the radio, the television, our friends, our family, and our coworkers. However, listening is something we have to do actively because "listening to" something and "hearing" something are two very different concepts. We hear the familiar sounds of the refrigerator humming, the microwave beeping, the dog barking, and cars honking. If we are fortunate enough to break out of the rat race, we can even enjoy the sounds of nature like birds chirping, a brook babbling, the wind blowing, or leaves rustling.

But just because we have heard these sounds doesn't mean they have registered in our brains. The passive nature of hearing is very different from the active nature of listening. Take, for example, watching the evening news. There is usually a lot of commotion going on during the news. So although the news is on, I am sitting in front of it, and I can hear it, I generally have no idea what was said because I wasn't really listening. I am distracted by my kids and I am not actively listening to the news. My solution is generally to turn the TV off because it is just added noise and some day when my kids are older I will be able to watch the news again. But this is a perfect example of the differences between hearing and active listening. I heard the news, but I wasn't actively listening to it, so I had no idea what had been said when it was over.

Another situation that exemplifies this difference is remembering people's names. How many times have you been introduced to somebody at a party or gathering and within seconds can't remember the person's name. As the introduction was being made, you were probably thinking to yourself, "Well, I'll never remember the name anyway. . . . or . . . I am so bad with names." You heard the person talking and acted polite by pretending to listen, but your brain was really a million miles away and you weren't actively listening to the introduction. Without engaging your active listening skills, the person's name never entered your brain and therefore, you never had a chance at remembering the name. Listening skills are developed, and the more we practice the more skilled we become at listening.

The less he spoke, the more he [listened]. Why aren't we like that wise old bird?"

Do you keep everything inside? How would it feel if you were able to express what you were thinking and feeling, and not have to worry about hurting others’ feelings or doing the “wrong thing”? Communicating protects you from being taken advantage of, and helps you express what you’re feeling and thinking.

Would you like to make more decisions for yourself? Do you need more time to think about certain decisions? If you need more information, talk to someone who is more knowledgeable such as a guidance counselor, teacher, sibling, parent, or friend who may have considerable insight into what you are deciding.

Do you know how to listen? Do you feel comfortable offering your own opinions in positive ways? Would you like to look back at your ninth grade year and know that you made a difference in your life and others’?